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Hello....my name is louise and I have just discovered this website. I lost my boxer dog Murphy on Saturday. He was 10 years old. We are absolutely heartbroken. My husband and I feel totally lost. I was absolutely not prepared for this loss. I have 2 kids 4 & 1. The feelings of loss, hurt, guilt are destroying me. I didn't realise losing our boy would result in this and do not know what to do with myself. I keep telling myself it'll be ok but everything just feels wrong....having to have his PTS has been the most traumatic thing I've ever experienced. Please tell me this will get easier? I am so so sad. My poor poor baby boy. He's gone :'o(

I'm so sorry Louise , It does get better. Its very traumatic and very heartbreaking. You have to try and put that part out of your mind, very hard to do. I replay it over an over in my head and makes me sick and then I try to snap myself out of it. I lost my Bella right before Christmas last year, it gets easier but you never forget. When I look at her picture or remember the signs that she was sick and even though I had her to the vet multiple times , I didn't find out until it was too late.
If Murphy was sick , you did the right thing in not making him suffer. Hard to comprehend I know.
Feeling guilty is normal but I could not watch Bella suffer any longer and I know that I did what I had to do.
I still cannot bring myself to get another too heartbreaking.
Just know that he is in a better place and not suffering any longer.
Again so sorry.

Thank you Lisa. Yeah he had cancer. Multiple tumours. We had been chasing them for 3 years. He also had an issue with his throat as a result of a huge bacterial infection last year. He couldn't breath properly at the end. I was just not prepared for this at all. I am so angry at myself and feeling so guilty for not appreciating what I had. I'm actually devastated. I'm trying to tell myself we done the right thing...just doesn't feel that way right now. I am sorry for your loss too. They're our babies at the end of the day xxx

I am so sorry Louise and I send you hugs and understand how you are feeling. We are never prepared for losing our precious furry babies, even though we know that they are ill. I lost my dear cat Toffee nearly 5 years ago; she had cancer. I try to put those last days out of my mind; it is not easy and it took me quite a while, but the joy she gave us we remember now. Take a day at a time and try to talk about the happiness Murphy gave you; he will be in your heart forever, so always near. Take care xx Penny

Thanks penny. You're so right. He gave us so many happy memories. It's very hard at the moment to come to terms with but I know in time I'll feel better. I know we did the right thing for him, but hey it doesn't make it feel any better. Thanks for the kind words and I'm sorry for your loss too xxx

Thank you dear Louise; the Ralph Site was a great help to me when I lost Toffee; so many kind and understanding people and I made some good friends. It helps to share feelings and to find that we are not alone in our grieving. Always here for you if you want to talk Louise. Take care xx Penny xx

Thanks penny. Xxx

Louise, I'm so sorry for your loss and for all the distress you are experiencing. I can only agree with the other comments. In those first few days, weeks and months, even though you know you did the right thing, you have to work through so many intense, confusing, unexpected feelings. That they are no longer there in your home makes a huge difference in your daily life. I lost my cat in May and I am still not managing well. I can only hope that in our own time we will find peace in all those good memories and in knowing we gave them happy homes and lots of love. Take care of yourself and keep talking to people who understand and will support you. xx

Hello Louise
I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your wonderful boy Murphy. The love you have for him comes through so strongly, as does your devastation at his passing :(
I just want you to know, even though you may not believe me right now, your pain and heartbreak will lift in time, and happy thoughts and memories will break through.
I had my beloved, beautiful cat Big Fella put to sleep in January last year and I was so traumatised I had to take time off work. I honestly thought I'd never recover from his loss as he was so very special like your Murphy.
I found this site very helpful as well as the Blue Cross pet bereavement service, which is free and you can speak to someone over the phone or via email. They are specifically trained counsellors in pet bereavement. I found it really helped me cope.
Stay in contact
Thinking of you
Michelle xx