Topic Name new pet after devastation

Posted by: Teresa Dexter Posts: 2 - Joined: Wed Sep 14th, 2011 10:18 am

#213 - by Teresa Dexter >> Wed May 2nd, 2012 01:50 pm

First post goes here
After losing 3 young cats in 18 months, my remaing three year old cat, Freddy and myself had been left bereft. Fred had snuggled up to each of his siblings and they all enjoyed grooming each other. I presumed that Fred was lonely as he had never been on his own before and seemed sad. However, I seemed to have misjudged his needs. After 6 months I adopted a 8 mouth old little girl as a companion for him. I was told that she loved older boy cats so it seemed to be a good match.
However, after the introduction initially going quite well, the situation is slowly deteriorating with the established cat, Fred, does not enjoy the company of his new little sister. She, on the other hand seems besotted with him, wanting to play and running up to. Greet him , only to be hit and spat at. So I have gone back to separating them again.
I feel the you g cat was probably happier in the cabin at Cats Protection, where she at least could snugglle up to other cats who liked and accepted.
Tia adoption was a massive thing for me as was one of those ' never again' people and fostering little Bramble was a huge risk for both Fred and me. I feel so disappointed - even Rescue remedy a nd classical music hasn't helped.
Any advice? They were fighting at 4 am again and separate rooms causes crying which e en the radio will not drown out!!!

Posted by: kathhowie Posts: 4 - Joined: Wed Jul 6th, 2011 02:45 am

#215 - by kathhowie >> Wed May 2nd, 2012 09:22 pm

Hi Terri
This is a tricky situation as cats by nature are solitary characters. Some people manage multi-cat households very well and they don`t seem to have any problems however sometimes we think our cats are sad after a loss which they often are but they are sad for the loss of their already established cat friends and do not always easily accept a new cat especially if she is young and a bit exuberant now as well which it sounds like is the case. The problem with cats is by nature they are terrotorial and enjoy solitude even though we have domesticated them some cats do prefer to be alone with their human family for company. I know when i fostered a cat over christmas that my resident cat was very upset by it. Is Tia spayed already ? Sometimes that can be helpful. Also another thing you can try if rescue remedy hasn`t worked is walnut oil 1 drop on each ear for Freddy as this has a relaxing effect on cats. The other thing that can dramatically help is something called Feliway which is a cat pheromone that helps cats feel less stressed and more relaxed about things it is a plug in diffuser or a spray you can get from your vets or some pet stores.
Is fred an outdoorsy cat ? if so allowing him freedom to go outdoors and get away from Tia could help as it gives him time to carry out normal cat behaviours and have a little peace and quiet ! If they are both confined to the house then some of the behaviour can be frustration related certainly on Tia`s part ie she can`t go outside so she makes her own entertainment trying to play with poor fred who obviously does not appreciate her admiration for him
Its difficult sometimes time will sort these situations out and if they are indoors cats for some reason it is a good idea to consider allowing them outside as indoor cats cannot carry out normal feline behaviour even with stimulating toys etc.
A good website to have a look at for environmental enrichment and helping your cats to get on better is which is the Feline Advisory Bureau they have lots of useful hints and tips written by behaviourists as to how to help in these situations.
I am sure her adoption was a huge thing for you and am sorry your having these problems but it sounds like your trying extremley hard to sort the problems out. I have had great success even in feral cats using the walnut oil drops on the ears as a way to relax them so this may help in the interim.

Hope this is helpful and do have a look at the FAB website there is lots of useful information on there,


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