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I had to have my 12 year old Cat put to sleep today, can't cope at the moment. Can anyone offer any advice?

Oh, Natalie. It sounds like this was the last resort, and you did what was necessary to stop your poor cat from suffering. It is always hard; I had to make the same decision nearly 5 and a half years ago. Your cat will know that you did this to help, and it was a peaceful end to what was probably a marvelous life. Making the decision is really hard, but ultimately you had a responsibility to them. It is often said, and it is true, eventually you will see that you did the right thing by them. What was his/her name?

Hi Natalie I am so so sorry too hear that and it is completely normal to feel as you can`t cope at the moment , the emotions are raw and painful and nothing anyone says right now can help you come to terms with it. What i would say is you had your beloved cat put to sleep for a reason , to end suffering and give your kitty some peace and dignity ? This is the hardest decision we as pet owners have to make but also in the long run it becomes clear when they are sick or unwell that it was the kindest thing to do. This doesnt help you right now but imagine if you had let your poor cat go on suffering ? How would you feel then ? I would imagine worse as though it is always extremely difficult to make this decision it is extremely difficult later on to realize you allowed you beloved furbaby to suffer for your own needs if that makes sense ?
I have been where you are it is painful every time we love a animal we let them into our hearts and therefore when they have to leave us it takes a piece of our hearts with them and it hurts so much. There are several helplines you can call if needed probably the best one is the Blue Cross pet bereavement helpline or you can alternatively call or e-mail the samaritans who are extremely understanding over pet loss. You can contact me directly if you would like i am on facebook Katherine Howie or you can e mail me kathhowie@gmail.com
I know it hurts now it will and it wont go away quickly you have shared your life for 12yrs with what was probably your best friend ..... It does get easier as we realise they were suffering and we did the kindest thing but initially it hurts and it hurts your heart every time you breath ... your in my thoughts and please do contact me if you think i can help xxxxxxx Take it one day at a time xxx

Some replies from our Facebook page too Natalie:

Make sure you have the support with you. And remember you dont want your cat to suffer thats why you are doing this for all the right reasons! Because you love your cat xx Get someone to clear all the reminders away but dont chuck anything out just keep for the future

I am so sorry for your loss Natalie. I lost my own cat in February - he was 18. I still cry for him every day:( All I can say to try and console you is to try and remember the good times, and to remember your cat was much loved and you did all you could to help his suffering. Take care.

sorry to hear you have lost your precious pet my daughter lost her little cat on thursday my grandchildren were heartbroken but my daughter takes consolation in knowing she is not suffering anymore and is free from pain your little friend will always be with you in your heart and will always be by your side it is heartbreaking now but things do get better my daughter has had her little cat cremated and is having her back in a beautiful casket godbless you xxx

So sorry Natalie. Try and talk to someone who has been through a similar situation. Many of us on here have been and I'm sure would be willing to lend an ear. Your Veterinary practice can offer support, or put you in touch with an animal grief counsellor. Take care of yourself, your furry friend is watching over you and would want you to make sure you are taking the time to look after yourself at this time.

My heart goes out to you Natalie..i know how hard it is...and at the moment i don't think anything i say will take that hurt away...but in time it will ease but we never forget...Thinking of you and sending lots of love.xxx R.I.P precious one.xxx

Hi Natalie,
Verona said very kind, caring and logical words.
I think this site is fantastic - true animal lovers together.
I, and everyone else on here, do know how you are feeling - it's just so so horrible.
I had to have my darling little Jack Russell Archie put to sleep (he was 12 and a half so not old for a JR) on feb 2nd - I actually collapsed to the floor with grief on the day - but am slowly coming to terms with it now. The only problem with 'time is a great healer' is that it doesn't help with the immediate 'now' time.
I wish I had the answers for you.
Thinking of you lots,
Tara,
xx

Thanks Kath and Verona. His hame is Dylan and he had a tumour growing in the roof of his mouth we found out a month ago and we have done everything to make him comfortable, steroids etc but this last week it was becoming to much for him and I could not see him suffer. I have had him since he was 16 weeks old and he has been there for me through thick and thin. I still have his brother Elliot 12 and a girl called mitten 11 but it feels so empty without him, he used to follow me everywhere. Its so unbearable. Thanks for your replies, its appreciated. x

Thanks everyone xx

Oh Natalie you have in that case tried everything. In the worst time of his life you helped him and Dylan is now at peace , oral tumours are terrible and really you will look back and see you have made the right decision , we often in the vet world say that a cat is in pain of some sort once they stop eating and become lethargic and quiet. I am sure you made the right decision and in time you will realise but in the meantime The Ralph Site and its members are here for you. You did very well to keep him comfortable for a month . I know how it feels i thought i was going to literally break in two when my first dog was put to sleep but eventually you realize you have done them a kindness that we cant do for people. If you want to chat you have my details. Please do rely on the people on here as we have all been through it and so know what you are going through now we can`t make the pain go away but we can be there for you xx

I like this poem its sad as they all are but somehow its soothing .......
If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous ---

Natalie - feeling for your loss with love and understanding. It is such a painful time when we have to say goodbye to our much loved furry friends. They love us as we love them, and the goodbye is heartbreaking. There are so many of us on this site who are here for you. I have found great comfort from the lovely people - I lost my little girl Toffee in December and have found such warmth and sincerity from all who have sent me their love, all understanding the emptiness we are experiencing. Thinking of you Natalie. Take care xx