Finding it hard to cope with new puppy

Posted by: Vicky2012 Posts: 4 - Joined: Thu Jul 19th, 2012 04:32 pm

#303 - by Vicky2012 >> Thu Aug 2nd, 2012 07:48 am

I posted on here a couple of weeks ago when I lost my collie girl... I was in a strange situation as I had already bought a new puppy which i was collecting in a few days time, I ended up extending it a bit and getting him a week or so after I lost her but now I'm really struggling to cope, he is a very good puppy but I haven't bonded with him, he gets everything he needs but i feel so bad that he's not getting the love he deserves. I've got to the stage where I can't eat or sleep and I cry all the time. I have always been a believer of making a decision and sticking to it rather thsn giving up when things get hard but I can't see an end to this :-( My dilemma is the he is 9 weeks old now and so would be very easy to rehome but I don't think I have the heart for it and I know that when I start feeling better I would regret it. I wish I knew what the right thing to do was!
Posted by: Shailen Posts: 100 - Joined:

#304 - by Shailen >> Thu Aug 2nd, 2012 08:06 pm

Very difficult situation for you Vicky I'm sure. There isn't really a 'right' thing to do and I guess it boils down to just how hard you are finding it at the moment - from what you say it sounds like it is very tough. It would be easy to say hang in there and it will get better and bit-by-bit you will come to bond with the new puppy. On the other hand it does not sound like the new puppy is helping you to come to terms with and heal from the grief of losing your other dog - having a new pet can sometimes do this for people but it does not sound like it in your case. If you rehomed the new puppy to a good home he will get everything he needs still and you will have more time to grieve and heal at your own pace. And then when you think you may be ready to have a new puppy again in the future, you can try fostering for a bit to see if you truly are ready or just get a new puppy depending on how confident you feel at that time. If you can find a good home for the puppy I am not sure what there is to regret really as he will still have a good life and you did not know what was going to happen when you first arranged to get him.

There really isn't a right thing to do, only what is right for you. My opinion - not expert in anyway - is that if you are finding it that difficult at the moment, you are not suddenly going to make a dramatic improvement in a few days. If you can find a good home for him where he can get the love and interaction he deserves in a short timeframe then I don't see the harm and you should try not to see that as giving up. It is important to allow yourself the time you need to grieve; you gave having the new puppy a chance as you had already made the commitment but it is not working out and there is no shame in acknowledging that and then trying to find a solution that works best for both the puppy and you.

Sorry you are having such a tough time at the moment. Don't forget you can ring the Pet Bereavement Support Service and speak to one of their trained volunteers if you feel it will help to talk it through with someone.

Take care.
Shailen (The Ralph Site founder)

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