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Devastated - lost my first pet

Posted by: Natasha Davies Posts: 2 - Joined: Tue Jan 8th, 2013 02:09 pm

#454 - by Natasha Davies >> Tue Jan 8th, 2013 02:18 pm

I don't really know whether any words of support can help, but I don't know what else to do with myself. We put our 13.5 year old Smartie to sleep on Thursday and buried her in the back garden on Saturday. I am 38 and didnt have any pets when younger, so she (and her surviving brother) were my first and were my complete babies. I didn't spend so much time with them once my son was born, but since September spent a lot of time with Smartie as she had various problems (tuma which left her blind in one eye and other things). I feel so wretched and whilst people have been understanding so far, I can see in their faces when I start crying a look of 'it was a few days ago now, you shoul be coping'. I can not beleive the huge whole she has left, not padding around anymore, or meowwing for food......it hurts and I don't want to accept that she is gone.......
Posted by: Caroline Cruise Posts: 9 - Joined: Sat Jan 5th, 2013 12:54 pm

#456 - by Caroline Cruise >> Tue Jan 8th, 2013 05:42 pm

Love any hugs to you I lost my Romeo on Friday so just want to say I don't think you should be ok now I,m not either. I reckon I'll be crying for years at the loss of my boy... He also was my baby I do have other cats but could not have kids x x
Posted by: Shailen Posts: 100 - Joined:

#466 - by Shailen >> Sat Jan 12th, 2013 01:19 pm

Really sorry for your loss Natasha. It is so very difficult and the bond we form with our animal friends is so deep, strong and real. Sometimes we almost don't realise how deep until faced with their loss. Sorry if some people make you feel like you should be getting over it already. This is certainly not the case. There are no time limits, there is no pressure, everyone takes a different amount of time to start to move forward and a few days is really no time at all. There is hopefully information on this site that will help you - for example in the Grief Emotions and Management section. You can also ring the Pet Bereavement Support Service (details below) if you would like to speak with someone. Consider creating a memorial to Smartie as well.

Thinking of you.

PBSS information: http://www.theralphsite.com/index.php?idPage=21
Shailen (The Ralph Site founder)
Posted by: Jim McCall Posts: 4 - Joined: Sat Jan 19th, 2013 07:17 am

#472 - by Jim McCall >> Sat Jan 19th, 2013 08:36 am

I too am sorry for your loss-it is a bitter blow to anyone who has a pet and loves them as deeply as we do.
We had to have our gorgeous boy Lucky PTS on 08/01/13-he had been battling CRF for 3 years but finally succumbed to it that morning. My wife and and are devastated. Lucky was 16-but we only had him for 6 years as he adopted us from a family who didn't want him and he stayed with us these last 6 years.
We had him cremated and his ashes housed inside a sleeping black cat statue which is the focal point of our living room now. His "sister"Gypsy misses him-as we do- and wanders around looking for him.
Always remember that even though they are not with us-they are for ever in our hearts
Posted by: Michelle Quinn Posts: 3 - Joined: Tue Feb 19th, 2013 10:18 pm

#477 - by Michelle Quinn >> Tue Feb 19th, 2013 10:25 pm

Hi Everyone - I am new on here - I am reading your posts with tears in my eyes - I took my best friend Jess to the vet today - to be told that she has renal failure - I am absolutly devestated - I feel I have missed something and she has been in pain.....Should I have taken her to the vet sooner? She is on a drip overnight but having read about it online - I dont think the diagnosis is great and I feel i am greiving already......I got Jess from a local rescue 11 years ago and she has been such a good companion and such a great charactor. I just hope she had a good life with me and I am able to make the right decision for her.
Posted by: Ian Carter Posts: 1 - Joined: Wed Feb 20th, 2013 07:47 pm

#478 - by Ian Carter >> Wed Feb 20th, 2013 07:57 pm

Hi Michelle, So sorry for your predicament. Word's alone cannot heal a broken heart but if it's of any use at all, read through your messages etc, I personally found some comfort in the fact that total strangers were sending heartfelt comments. It is so reassuring to know people understand your pain even without knowing you. If sadly the outcome is as you suspect, I am sure as a pet owner grieving as you are you did not leave Jess suffering, you would have known trust me. If the worst case senario does come in to play, be strong and try and be there with them, that in time also brings you comfort knowing you were there for them especially when it mattered ( hard but i feel really important ) Good luck to you. xx
Posted by: Carol Ann Oconnor Posts: 1 - Joined: Tue May 22nd, 2012 11:07 pm

#479 - by Carol Ann Oconnor >> Wed Feb 20th, 2013 08:01 pm

Hi Michelle,I am so sorry to hear your sad news about Jess,It is never an easy decision for any furbaby owner,Having lost my beautiful Sasha nearly 2 years ago, not a day goes by that i dont think about her and some days cry for her,but i no in my heart of hearts that i made the right choice for her,she gave me unconditional love for 16 years,the least i could do was show her how much i loved her by ending her suffering...............Please dont think you have missed anything,quite often dogs and cats tend to hide illness,its there natural instinct,so as not to look vunerable in the wild...........I hope everything works out for jess,but remember your by no means alone and we are all here to support you in anyway we can xxx <3 xxx
Posted by: Michelle Quinn Posts: 3 - Joined: Tue Feb 19th, 2013 10:18 pm

#480 - by Michelle Quinn >> Wed Feb 20th, 2013 09:46 pm

Hi Ian and Carol thank you both so much for your kind words - I have brought Jess home today but her score is 3 worst score is 4 so I may have a few more weeks with her and I am so not ready..........i am trying my best not to smother her as i am soooo happy to have a little longer with her (any extra time is a bonus) she is such a character :) Most people dont understand but I dont have children (that is Jess) and I live alone so she is so much more than 'just a cat'. It is such a help to know there are like minded people who DO understand how I am feeling. Thank you again x x x
Posted by: Jim McCall Posts: 4 - Joined: Sat Jan 19th, 2013 07:17 am

#481 - by Jim McCall >> Thu Feb 21st, 2013 05:50 am

Hi Michelle. I am glad your little fur baby is home. You are right that most people don't understand-Only those that have pets do.
Our Lucky was diagnosed with renal failure when he was 13,with medication and care he fought it bravely for 3 years until we had to have him PTS on 8th Jan. this year.
There is not a day when we don't think of him and he will always be in out hearts. Give Jess a wee cuddle :-)
Posted by: Michelle Quinn Posts: 3 - Joined: Tue Feb 19th, 2013 10:18 pm

#482 - by Michelle Quinn >> Thu Feb 21st, 2013 09:36 pm

Hi Jim, Thank you for your understanding - I had my first attempt at giving her a tablet today - previously it has been a nightmare - but its as if she knows (or I got her off guard) first attempt and tablet down - five more to go before a check to see if meds are working........Jess has had big cuddles since getting home last night - even when she doesnt want them......I feel more at peace now, knowing I am trying everything to make her life as good as possible and she is purring and wont leave me alone so I think we are both on the same page.........thank you again x x x

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