Heartbreaking Decision...........

Posted by: Nicola Posts: 3 - Joined: Fri May 23rd, 2014 02:15 am

#616 - by Nicola >> Fri May 23rd, 2014 02:38 am

Yesterday my cat Morris was put to sleep.We took him to vets on Tuesday as he had been coughing alot and seemed breathless and he was diagnosed with heart failure.He was given treatment and next day we took him home with his medication but the following day he had lost his appetite and seemed listless.Yesterday he was clearly suffering and seemed to be even worse and breathing seemed laboured.We had another appointment scheduled for today but it was clear that he needed to be seen immediately so we took him down and as soon as the vet listened to his lungs and heart he told us there was nothing more they could do.I don't think me or my husband expected such a rapid decline and none of us could stand seeing him suffering any longer so he was put to sleep.I have lost pets in the past but have never had to go through this truly heart wrenching experience.We were both with him at the end and it was peaceful but the sight of him lying on that table lifeless is haunting me.My husband picked him up and he was so floppy and he had just gone.We have both cried buckets and everything reminds us of him.........his favourite toy set me off earlier.He has been gone less than a day but already the house is so empty and we have 2 other cats.My husband and daughter had a very close relationship with him so I expected it to hit them hard where as I am closer to one of the other cats so I wasn't expecting to feel so heartbroken.I just wish I had paid him a bit more attention when he was alive because I am feeling so guilty right now.........
Posted by: Anne Bond Posts: 15 - Joined: Sun Jul 15th, 2012 08:52 am

#617 - by Anne Bond >> Fri May 23rd, 2014 02:58 pm

I am sure that you gave him all the love he could ever have wanted. I have had a beloved cat in awful pain with a thrombosis in his back that paralysed his back legs whilst giving him awful pain. We rushed him to the vet and got him to sedate him immediately as he was in so much distress. While the vet was talking us through the very limited options, my darling Bubbles slipped away from shock. For a good while afterwards, all I could focus on was discovering him collapsed in the garden and the pain he was in. Eventually I came to realise that I was not honouring his life by focusing on his death. The pain does lessen in time and you can begin to smile through the tears, remembering all the happy times you spent with Morris. Don't feel guilty, it is a waste of your time and energy. Morris had a loving family and if he wasn't your special cat, then he still knew he had a place in your heart. We all love differently and have very little choice in the matter. I lost a beloved cat four years ago, who was my very special little lady. Three years ago I lost her beautiful mum and felt guilty because I hadn't adored her as much. I soon realised this was pointless and self-defeating, and I knew in my heart what a brilliant life we'd had together. Please accept my sincere condolences to all your family, I do know what you're going through. Big hugs to you all xxx
Anne Bond
Posted by: Sharon Thorley Posts: 11 - Joined: Thu Apr 24th, 2014 07:08 pm

#618 - by Sharon Thorley >> Fri May 23rd, 2014 06:50 pm

Hello Nicola & family. So very sorry to hear you have lost your dear Morris. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you all at this horrendous time. Everyone on this amazing site understands what you are going through right now. My precious bunny left us 10weeks ago tomorrow but it feels like yesterday.There isn't a pain like it. I can`t tell you when you will start to feel better as I`m still finding it very difficult,but I can only suggest taking it one day at a time & don`t expect too much of yourselves too soon.Sometimes you will feel `ok` & be able to smile & others you will cry until you feel like there aren`t anymore tears to come. Just go with whatever you are feeling at the time & don`t apologise to anyone for doing so. I do know what you mean when you said you wish you had paid him more attention as I have felt exactly the same. Morris was-& always will be-a very much loved member of your family & knew you were there for him. I have discovered people tend to stop asking how you are quite quickly,but never forget we are all here for you & have all felt the same as you are now,so please let us know how you are doing & share your grief if you need to.
Sending you all much love & hugs & to your special Morris.xx
Posted by: Nicola Posts: 3 - Joined: Fri May 23rd, 2014 02:15 am

#619 - by Nicola >> Fri May 23rd, 2014 11:46 pm

Oh thank you so much ladies for your lovely replies.We arranged to have Morris privately cremated today and I was surprised to hear that because it is a bank holiday on Monday that he may not be collected from vets till Thursday so then ofcourse my next question was whether the vets have a mortuary and after that all I could think about was him lying all alone and feeling cold even though I could see as soon as he died that he wasn't there anymore.My husband was feeling guilty because he didn't feel so cut up when his parents died but I totally understand.Besides from him and my kids I wouldn't be anywhere near as heartbroken with another human dying as I am now.All our cats are from shelters and we chose them because of their unique little personalities and Morris was such a little character.Now I am dreading when the next eldest,Bertie will die as he is around 10 and has recently gone deaf.Grief is such a heavy load to carry around and most people do not understand when it is related to a pet.Somehow they are seen as minor family members when that is not the case at all x
Posted by: Sharon Thorley Posts: 11 - Joined: Thu Apr 24th, 2014 07:08 pm

#620 - by Sharon Thorley >> Sat May 24th, 2014 08:21 am

Hello again. I know how you feel when you say about Morris being alone & cold when all you want to do is cuddle him & make him better & keep him safe & warm again. We got our house bunny, Rascal (see previous post to yours) a special blanket for her to lie on & wrap her up in & keep her warm in for when she came home from the vets after her op on the Friday. Was just the most horrendous feeling having to take her back to the vets the very next day in the same blanket for a very different reason. Still don't know what they did with it or if she was kept in it until the cremation. Trying not to torture myself anymore with that one.Every vets & pet crematoria will be different so you may feel better if you ask what their procedure is. I'm sure they won`t mind.You have a right to know.We just said yes to the vets arranging the cremation as we were in no fit state at the time to decide anything else,but the next day we arranged private cremation as the vets were going to take her miles away which,in our eyes wasn't going to happen & would have taken longer. Was also massively important that it was just her who we had back & I'm sure you feel the same.
I can't ever remember being this distraught when human members of my family have died & there probably aren't many on this site who don't feel the same. Think people are maybe a bit embarrassed or ashamed to admit that, but it's true & we can't change how we feel.
Rascal was my first pet & I now know that pets are definitely not minor family members. Quite the opposite I'd say. Sure I'm not alone when I say they probably rule the house & I quite happily indulged in giving in to her every demand! Her cuteness won us over & got her through when she was upto no good every time.
They get to the very core of your heart & that is where Morris will always be. He was unique to you & will always be yours.
Try not to think to far ahead regarding your special Bertie. He needs you too at the moment & will also be feeling the loss of Morris.
We all understand your pain, we really do so don't hold your grief in.
Take care. Keep intouch. xx

Posted by: Nicola Posts: 3 - Joined: Fri May 23rd, 2014 02:15 am

#621 - by Nicola >> Wed May 28th, 2014 04:00 am

I think my other cat Pepper is missing him most and as a tortoiseshell she is pretty temperamental and she did have a tendency to pick on him but she is very quiet right now and not her usual naughty self at all.It is difficult to even look at a pic of Morris and every time I do the tears come flowing again.Last week at this time he was still alive and he went downhill so quickly.I just wish they showed their discomfort with us as I cant help feeling he must of been in alot of pain by the time he did and sadly it was too late by then...........x
Posted by: Anne Bond Posts: 15 - Joined: Sun Jul 15th, 2012 08:52 am

#622 - by Anne Bond >> Wed May 28th, 2014 11:24 am

Hi Nicola, your other cst, Pepper will be sad for a couple of weeks if she is the same as mine was. Happily, it seems that they mourn for a very short while but are then able to move on. Now is the time you can derive comfort from each other; extra cuddles are in order for both your sakes. Let your tears flow, it's better to go with your feelings, but remember that your darling Morris is happy, running free and waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge. Xxx
Anne Bond
Posted by: Penny'sMummy Posts: 3 - Joined: Sun Mar 30th, 2014 09:26 pm

#652 - by Penny'sMummy >> Fri Jun 13th, 2014 01:09 pm

I understand what you are going through, my beautiful dog Penny was pts on 7th March at our home due to heart failure. She had been diagnosed with a murmur 2 1/2 years earlier and she was doing well but over the space of 5 days she declined rapidly and we made the decision that we had to say goodbye.

I went through all different feelings of guilt, regret, anger just like you. Like the time I gave her a row for peeing the floor I started thinking if she was here now she could pee the floor as much as she wanted.

I promise it gets better. I still cry and miss her but life is looking brighter after those first few very dark days and weeks without my angel.

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