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I thought I was okay. There was no doubt he had to stay with my ex, I moved out and went to my mother’s and she’s got a greyhound so I couldn’t bring him here. He’d just turned a year and a month old when I left. We got him at 4 months old. I knew it was a possibility I might break up with my partner, and we got him largely to help with my partner’s mental health. I like cats, but I’m more of a dog person, so I didn’t realise how hard I’d fall in love with the little furry bugger.

It’s a “trial separation” - which, to be honest, I can’t see resolving itself as my ex is still not taking sorting his mental health out seriously (it was emotionally abusive largely due to unresolved issues on his side). I spoke to him earlier - every time I speak to him on the phone I can hear the cat screaming because he can hear my voice. He loves his dad, but I was his “person” - he followed me from room to room and only ever hung out with my ex when I wasn’t available. My ex keeps saying he’s fine - but then also whinging about how demanding/hard work the cat is for one person (he’s a Somali - very playful and vocal - quite a bossy cat too). I feel like screaming every time he says it. I can’t afford a new place by myself right now so even if he’d let me I can’t suggest I take the cat for a bit.

I realised I was struggling to visualise him in my head (it’s only been a month), so watched some videos earlier - and haven’t stopped crying since. I miss him so so much. It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Could you spend time with the cat when your ex is out? Could you arrange to take the cat when you can afford a place of your own?