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Am i being silly ?

Posted by: Anne Slater Posts: 2 - Joined: Fri Feb 24th, 2012 08:32 pm

#358 - by Anne Slater >> Sun Oct 21st, 2012 09:13 pm

It's over 18 months since losing our lovely dally "Buster", and we are just decorating our living room. Today we had to lift the carpet ready for a new one tomorrow. Beneath the carpet can be seen the telltale stains of Busters less healthy days towards the end, and it has made me feel so upset. Changing the surroundings is almost like saying goodbye again. Gone are the favourite spots to flop out, and the hiding corners when it was bonfire night, and more importantly the final spot ! Has anyone else felt this, it seems so silly but i cant help it.
Posted by: Shailen Posts: 100 - Joined:

#359 - by Shailen >> Sun Oct 21st, 2012 11:02 pm

Hi Anne,

I haven't personally had to go through something like this as yet but I can certainly see why it might be a difficult time; it is certainly not silly. Hopefully you can see it as another stage in moving forward in your grief, not moving on. Take care.
Shailen (The Ralph Site founder)
Posted by: Penny Hudson Posts: 155 - Joined: Tue Mar 13th, 2012 03:35 pm

#361 - by Penny Hudson >> Sun Oct 21st, 2012 11:16 pm

Yes I understand how you feel Anne. We lost Toffee December 2011, and her basket of toys are where they always were. She used to rub up against the top of the stairs and there was a mark there, which I had to clean off but found it very difficult.

I feel as if changing or getting rid of anything of hers is like you feel, saying goodbye again.

She is buried under the garden seat, and even when we go away I feel as if we are leaving her on her own.

Different things maybe from you Anne, but circumstances which are so very hard to cope with, and I understand completely how you feel. The parting is so very hard and the acceptance of her death I am still finding very difficult.

Thinking of you Anne and understanding completely your feelings. Bless you

Posted by: Admin Posts: 72 - Joined: Wed Jun 8th, 2011 01:05 am

#362 - by Admin >> Sun Oct 21st, 2012 11:40 pm

From Facebook:

Pamela Jackson: "I felt the same getting rid of my clapped out, piece of junk car! It was about 6 months after losing Effie and it was always causing problems, I was desperate to trade it in but actually handing it over was devastating. It held a lot of memories as she and I were forever going places, moving home, visiting friends etc in it. All the trips to the favourite walks (including where her ashes are scattered), days at the beach, adventures, vet visits etc happened for 6 years in that car. It was an odd feeling x"
The Ralph Site Admin
Posted by: Anne Bond Posts: 15 - Joined: Sun Jul 15th, 2012 08:52 am

#364 - by Anne Bond >> Mon Oct 22nd, 2012 03:32 pm

Not silly at all, it's the little things that trip you up. I had to clean some pawprints from a beloved gone cat on a window pane once, and I confess it was some time before I could actually do it, it felt like I was wiping away a memory. You just have to keep telling yourself that you have them in your heart and you never lose them from there. xx
Anne Bond
Posted by: Anne Slater Posts: 2 - Joined: Fri Feb 24th, 2012 08:32 pm

#365 - by Anne Slater >> Mon Oct 22nd, 2012 08:04 pm

So reassuring to hear i'm not alone. I still have all Busters toys, blankets etc in a sealed box, even the last 2 biscuits that were left in my pocket after our last walk. His ashes are buried under the walnut tree in the garden, beside our first cat "Lucan" who was nearly 20 when she passed away. I can't imagine what i would do if ever we moved house. We still have two cats "Tia"(mum) & "Gizmo"(son) who keep me relatively sane, and i am walking all our old routes again as being without a dog has the effect of closing you in if you let it.
Thankyou all for helping me to see my silly ways are actually quite normal.
Posted by: Penny Hudson Posts: 155 - Joined: Tue Mar 13th, 2012 03:35 pm

#366 - by Penny Hudson >> Mon Oct 22nd, 2012 09:11 pm

It is reassuring to share our feelings Anne - our precious pets are such important parts of our lives and leave such huge gaps. I don't ever plan to move - have both Cheekie and Toffee buried in the garden, so are close, and in my heart forever, but the parting is so hard. Both took part of my heart with them.

Take care Anne xxxx

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