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Totally Traumatised

Posted by: Sheila Newton Posts: 2 - Joined: Tue Oct 30th, 2012 03:29 pm

#409 - by Sheila Newton >> Fri Dec 21st, 2012 08:49 pm

I really need some help - this year I have lost 5 of my fur babies. On the 4th April I had to have my beautiful oriental cat Albert pts due to lymphoma. He had had 10 months of chemotherapy but his tumours had become resistant to it so I had to let him go. Then over a period of 7 weeks and 1 day I lost 4 more of my babies - on 30th October I had to have my 16 year old cat Daisy pts due to renal failure. Just over 2 weeks later on 16th November I had to have my 13 year old Tibetan Terrier, Angus, pts as he had lost his battle with cancer. Then on the 29th November our cat Harry (Albert's litter mate) also lost his battle with cancer and I had to have him pts. I was hoping for some respite after this but 2 days ago on 19th December I had to have my gorgeous dog Ted pts as his long standing renal disease suddenly got worse and he stopped eating and drinking. To say that I am not coping is a massive understatement and I am wracked with guilt over the loss of all my babies. Did I let them go too soon? Could I have done more for them? On the last visit to the vets did they know what I was going to do to them? The list is endless and I am really struggling to cope.
Sheila Newton
Posted by: Shailen Posts: 100 - Joined:

#410 - by Shailen >> Sat Dec 22nd, 2012 08:38 pm

I am so sorry to hear about all this Sheila, so very difficult for your family. That is a lot of grief to have to deal with all at the same time and guilt will not help. I am sure you will have done your best for them, made decisions in their best interest, and there is no doubt how much you loved them all. Guilt is a negative emotion that stops you from focusing on your sadness and from making tiny steps to recovery. I know it is easy to say but please try and lay the misplaced guilt to one side and just grieve for the loss. Please consider giving the Pet Bereavement Support Service a call if you feel like speaking with someone. Their details are here
Shailen (The Ralph Site founder)
Posted by: Penny Hudson Posts: 155 - Joined: Tue Mar 13th, 2012 03:35 pm

#411 - by Penny Hudson >> Sat Dec 22nd, 2012 09:42 pm

My heart goes out to you Sheila, and I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved fur babies. I think it is only natural to have lots of different feelings of what we should or could have done when we lose our darling babies. You obviously loved them all so very much and did everything you could for all of them; I lost my darling Toffee just over a year ago, and still feel the pain, and I can understand what you are going through after having such a sad time losing 5 fur babies. Sharing your sadness Sheila, bless you xx RIP little fur babies x Take care, Sheila x
Posted by: Admin Posts: 72 - Joined: Wed Jun 8th, 2011 01:05 am

#412 - by Admin >> Sat Dec 22nd, 2012 11:53 pm

Some comments from Facebook:

Lucy Ann Wilson: If we want the unconditional love they give us, we have to accept the final duty to them. I can imagine the pain and loss you feel Sheila, but remember the good years you shared, and know that you did the best, and kindest thing for your babies xx Over the Rainbow Bridge they are all together, well and safe xx

Meg Muscroft Blacklock: aww sheila i know exactly how you feel. i lost my dog on 5th nov last year she had epilepsy and cancer aged 11, then in march this year tiffy my 18 year old cat she had thyroid problems.then in october this year pooky my 19 year old cat with cancer. all pts I still geel guilty but i know i did the right thing for them i miss them sooo much amd will always love them. Just take one day at a time x sending you hugs

Karen Bird: My heart goes out to you Sheila, truly is tragic. 8 years back, I lost 2 cats within 6 weeks, and that was bad enough.....I too am bereaved at present as I had to have my cat Phoebe pts 5 weeks ago, I felt guilty, thinking I didnt do enough etc, but that is part of the grieving process. You did what you could. Dont be hard on yourself. Keep strong, and try to stay focused. When you are ready go to a rescue centre and adopt a couple of fur babies who are in dire need of good forever home, it will help you heal to some degree...x
The Ralph Site Admin
Posted by: Dawn Munnery Posts: 1 - Joined: Sun Dec 23rd, 2012 12:49 am

#413 - by Dawn Munnery >> Sun Dec 23rd, 2012 01:00 am

You ask yourself 'what more could you have done?' If there was more you would have done it. Your heart told you the kindest and right thing to do. Don't feel guilty. You gave them many years of love and that's more than many animals and humans have. They were as lucky to have you as you were to have them. No words will help your pain at the moment but know that people understand how you feel. Much love to you at this time and I hope life gets easier x
Posted by: Anne Bond Posts: 15 - Joined: Sun Jul 15th, 2012 08:52 am

#414 - by Anne Bond >> Sun Dec 23rd, 2012 09:04 am

I think Dawn has summed up the situation wonderfully Sheila. I think that, unsurprisingly, you are reeling from shock and loss; it's terrible enough to lose one pet but five in quick succession just seems cruel. Don't add to your pain by feeling guilty please. It's obvious that you were a loving "mum" and did all that you could do. Everyone here knows how you feel and is here for you. xx
Anne Bond
Posted by: Ian Fryer Posts: 1 - Joined: Sun Dec 23rd, 2012 03:11 pm

#415 - by Ian Fryer >> Sun Dec 23rd, 2012 03:21 pm

I agree with the comments made by Dawn Munnery and Anne Bond. Having lost two cats myself this year i know a little of how you are feeling. Please don't feel guilty but do remember all the good times. You asked in your blog about if on the last visit to the vets would they have known what you were going to do. The answer to that is yes they would have known but if they could have spoken then they would have said thank you. xx

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