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dont feel normal

Posted by: bengimarty Posts: 3 - Joined: Sun Feb 12th, 2012 03:51 pm

#165 - by bengimarty >> Sun Feb 12th, 2012 04:13 pm

I had to have my 16 year old collie cross put to sleep 4 weeks ago. I had him from 5 months. He was a rescue dog. I have another rescue dog and a puppy. But four weeks on and I am crying more than the first couple of weeks. I feel worse now than the week he was put to sleep. I have just left a family dinner party after half an hour before everyone began eating because I jsut want to sit and cry. I have the other dogs, I have a loving parnter who I met 3 years ago. But I never had children and my dog had been with me for 16 years, every day and every night. I dont feel right. Im sure everyone thinks im dwelling in the grief but I cant seem to get out of it and its dragging me in deeper. What is the point in anything, the next dog will die in a few years and all I know myself is as the dogs mum. The family all look at me as if Im mad and Im sure they think its just a dog, not a human or a child...but he was my boy.
Posted by: Shailen Posts: 100 - Joined:

#167 - by Shailen >> Mon Feb 13th, 2012 11:58 am

Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time at the moment. 16 years with a dog, and especially one as interactive as a Collie cross, is bound to be very very difficult to cope with when you lose them. There is certainly nothing mad or silly about feeling the way you do, please don't let anyone make you feel that way. Dealing with grief is all about acknowledging and admitting how you feel, trying to embrace the grief, and take slow but steady steps to recover from it without setting any specific timeframe. As well as the info on this site, there are also many helpful books you could consider reading - see for example - but also it sounds like it would be very helpful for you to speak to the Pet Bereavement Support Service We all understand at least a little of how you feel and hope you can see that there is a point. There is another forum on "Better to have loved and lost" and please never underestimate the love, joy and pleasure your boy will have had living with you. As a vet working for some years now, many people question whether they will ever have another furry friend when it hurts so much to lose them, but most people do in time feel that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have shared that bond in the first place.
Shailen (The Ralph Site founder)
Posted by: SilverLight Posts: 17 - Joined: Mon Jan 30th, 2012 02:41 pm

#168 - by SilverLight >> Mon Feb 13th, 2012 08:51 pm

I can relate a little to what you describe. It doesnt help that although the loss can be as huge as that of a person or major job in your life people dont seem to think it might be. After all, there is a loss, a huge space that has been left in your life. I am finding it hard to connect to the love and joy that I am missing, but Shailen has good advice that its important to try and connect with that, because I guess that is where the pain comes from and if you can acknowledge it and be kind to yourself it will feel easier than feeling so out of touch with things, because other people around you dont understand.

There are lots of people here that experience a profound sense of loss when a pet dies and its so good to read and remind ourselves we are not mad! take care

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