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I am crying as I write. My beauhtiful Merlins body gave up on him and I had to have him put to sleep in the early hours of 1st September. I was told a year ago to the day that like many CKCS he had Mitral valve disease and that he had maybe a year to live. I started him on meds straight away knowing it would not cure but maybe make his remaining time more comfortable . He sailed through all his checks each time I asked was he suffering. One week ago he spent the night in an oxygen tent-he came home the next day Iwas told if he made the week he had two weeks to two months left.
Two days later his RRR went up again the vet checked him out and said he was not as bad and not to worry. Later that night when all the vets were closed he started to go down hill-his breathing rate increased and he was unable to sit or lay he was almost passing out on his feet. The nearest 24Hr vet was 30 minutes away-the cab driver really put his foot down. We went straight in as they were expecting us-I told the vet his history and that I hoped I was wrong but I think his time had come.
Unfortunately she agreed. He was put to sleep in my arms.I could not leave him with strangers.I brought him home and stayed with him until my daughter who has autism arrive to say good bye. Not long after the people from the pet crem arrived-they were very sensitive - I said my last good bye. He is with God and restored to health but everywhere I look I wish He were still with me. I will always love him-Iwill always miss him until the day we meet again. He had this way of looking into your soul I miss most of all his welcome home-His whole body was bursting with love. I was lucky to have him I know-but boy does his loss hurt. Rest in peace my darling Merlin

Hello Merlin's mum, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious Merlin. I feel your pain; knowing how I felt when my darling cat Toffee had to be put to sleep 5 years ago. They are such a big part of our lives and the love shared so wonderful and so deep. Merlin is now at peace and knew he was so much loved; he will be in your heart forever and the love you shared will always be strong. Sending you love and hugs and understanding the pain you are suffering; take care and always here to talk if you want to.
Penny

Hello Penny
Thank you for your response-unless someone has felt these desparate feelings most cannot understand them. Even my adult children think I am over reacting especially as this is not the first pet I have lost. Merlin was just that little bit more special.
But after reading some of the posts I see I am not the only one to feel loss in this way. I will try to remember your words when I feel at my most fragile. Many thanks

Hi Merlins mum, I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved pet, Merlin. It really is hard to cope up with the loss of our family member. I know that you are undergoing a very hard time but please, if it will help, think of Merlin now as one of the happiest pet ever. That he is now on a very happy and fun place where he is just experiencing pure happiness.

If it also helps, seeking professional services from certain local cities like pet loss Hampton Roads. Here's the site https://thepetlosscenter.com/our-locations/hampton-roads. I do hope that this will be of great use to you.