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Hi everyone I have just joined this group in hopes that I can find some small comfort with people who feel my pain. On the 27th June I had to say goodbye to my absolute constant, Milly she was 13 and my beloved Shih Tzu. The pain that I feel is indescribable and the physical pain is unbearable-I have truly never known pain like this before. I feel so lost and I ache for my baby girl. Her love was so pure-it came with no conditions-just to love and care for her. Milly had a base heart tumour and up until 3 months ago she was coping with it but then we had a scan and it showed her heart was struggling and we had to make the hardest decision to say goodbye. I feel such utter guilt and feel as though I have let her down-I feel such anger and am in complete denial. All I want is Milly back and I am so scared of life without her. I am scared that these feelings of utter sadness will stop me from honouring Milly's memory but I just can't seem to stop the loop in my head going round and round. Every single part of my life was Milly and it is now so empty. It has been less than 4 weeks and every single day feels as bad as the day before.

Dear Mandy,

Thank you for finding the strength to share your heartbreak with us. I’m so sorry that your precious girl, Milly, has died. The pain you describe - the rawness, the fear, the guilt - is something many of us here have felt too, and we truly hear you.

You shared your life with Milly for a long time. Milly was your companion, your constant, your source of unconditional love. It’s completely natural that her absence feels unbearable right now. When someone fills every corner of your day, it’s no wonder that their loss leaves such a vast, echoing silence.

Please know that all the emotions you’re experiencing - grief, guilt, denial, anger, fear - are normal. Grief is rarely tidy or logical. Even when we make loving, informed decisions - like the impossible one to say goodbye - doubt and guilt can haunt us afterwards. You did what you did out of love, and that love is still here, even in your sadness.

It's okay to be scared of forgetting, or of not honouring Milly the way you want to. But just by grieving so deeply, you’re already honouring her. The love you shared was real, and nothing - not even death - can take that from you.

Be gentle with yourself. There’s no right timeline or right way to grieve. If every day feels as hard as the last, that’s okay, too. You’re not stuck - you’re surviving. And that’s a huge act of courage. Milly’s love lives on in you.

Mandy, these forums receive very little engagement nowadays. However, we have a private Facebook group with lots of members always available to provide comfort and support. Please consider joining it: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theralphsite/.

Sincere condolences,

Shailen.

Thank you so much for the kind words of support. I will join the group today. I started counselling last week but I am just not in the right mind to accept that at the moment-I just want to be alone in my head with Milly but I thought a group would be better suited to me at this time so thank you for reaching out. I am also going to source a book today on pet grief and I wanted to ask if you might have any good suggestions?. It's the hardest pain I have ever had she was the center of my being-I know Milly would want her mummy to not be sad but the saying "how lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" is just so true. It's the price we pay for loving so hard but my god I will love that girl until we meet again.

Thank you for your time
Mandy

Hi Mandy,

There are some books listed on the page below that you can browse through:

https://www.theralphsite.com/index.php?idPage=20

Shailen